Transitioning from “Self-ish” to “Whole Self” in Recovery

Young girl doing yoga in the park

You don’t need to be an addict to demonstrate egocentric behavior, sometimes referred to as selfishness.  Entitlement, immaturity, instant-gratification are natural parts of growing up and seem like common sense to under developed brains and relationships.  However, “selfishness” is also a consequence of prolonged substance abuse and dependence. Addiction is a physical/medical experience that alters the brains ability to function.  Perceptions and reasoning skills connected to time, relationships, consequences, and survival are greatly affected when chemicals change the brains ability to do its job.

When the brain and physical body is altered, the ripple effects and consequences spread throughout our lives.  So when individuals or family start looking for relief they obviously wants to remove or control the easiest target…substances. The reasonable hope shared by most people is that once you change this one dimension of our life, the positive ripple effects will reverse the damage. Sadly, this is not true.  We are not one-dimensional beings and solving complex issues can be complicated.

Each of us is an imperfect but well-intentioned human who are made up of multiple dimensions and have complex histories and needs. The introduction of substance abuse or other forms of self-medication is often an attempt to solve problems in one or more of these dimensions. Superficial labels and rigid diagnoses alone often ignore our humanity and reduce people down to just behaviors or judgments. Unfortunately, repeated use of these labels or judgments often creates shame and exclusion. This is not the kind of flexibility, support, and hope that your recovery requires.  Unfortunately, thinking systemically and understanding and treating all dimensions of your world are not common practice for most people. Getting “unstuck”, opening up your mind and heart to new perspectives, and creating opportunities appeals to most people but they just don’t have practice. It feels unnatural for the average person but it feels very uncomfortable, even threatening, for someone in addiction.

One of our goals, at Chateau Recovery, is to educate and empower you and family so no one gets “stuck” in painful patterns of blame, denial, and attempts to control one another.  We invite individuals and family members to slow down long enough to really examine each dimension of them.  The very act of slowing down and taking a closer look often creates more insight and appreciation for details often overlooked.  We create an environment where you can slow down and examine Mental and Emotional Wellness, Biological Wellness, Family System Wellness, Social and Interpersonal Wellness, and Transcendence.  Each of these meaningful areas needs attention and healing.  This whole self-examination does take more time and effort to complete.  However, perspective, solutions, empathy and support that result are well worth the discomfort.  Let us show you how.